30 Life Lessons I’ve Learned at 30
While I had big plans to forget about my thirtieth birthday with a week and a half in Paris, Miss Rona had other plans. Instead of macarons and museums, I had a Milk Bar cake and a movie. TBH though, it was actually pretty nice. After all, I feel fortunate to have been able to even celebrate my birthday this year — even if it was the big 3-0.
I took the opportunity to pause and reflect on my life up to this point — goals I’d set, obstacles encountered, love, love lost, and the decision to get a cat — and came up with a list of lessons I’ve learned thus far.
30 Lessons I’ve Learned in Life (So Far):
Lessons about life:
You’re not responsible for the actions of others. Unless you’re in the first 18 years of parenthood — sorry.
Always take accountability for your actions and apologize when necessary. People will respect you for it.
Throw your timelines (read: expectations) out the window as soon as you can. It’s just not how life works. If anyone says otherwise, they’re lying.
You’d be surprised how many facets of your life can be tarnished with poor money management. Create a budget and stick to it.
We’re not guaranteed anything and we should live like we know it. (My inner anxious kid really wants me to add, within reason.)
Lessons about friendships:
The whole eight years of friendship and it’ll last a lifetime thing is bullshit. Not all friendships last forever, and that’s okay. Most aren’t meant to.
Ebbs and flows are normal in friendships. Don’t punish yourself or your friend.
You’re allowed more than one best friend.
Honestly, pets>humans. They make better friends because they’re great listeners, never ask for rides to the airport, and can’t spill your secrets.
Quality time is key. Any relationship — platonic or otherwise — needs attention. Think of your friend as a houseplant: They need attention. (And probably to drink more water.)
Lessons about love:
Love doesn’t take work, but relationships do.
In a disagreement, pause and ask yourself, “Do I need to win this?” If not, let it go.
Never stop dating each other. Even if it’s just a night in with no phones.
All the little things mean just as much as the big things in the grand scheme of it all.
Don’t force something for the sake of having a relationship. That’s not how it works.
Lessons about family:
Their demons are not yours. Neither are their crimes.
Sharing DNA isn’t a free pass for accepting bad behavior.
Soak up as many old family stories as you can while you can.
Parents' quirks and eccentricities will grow over time. Roll with it.
Just because you’re blood-related doesn’t mean you’re not family. We’re given a core group at birth, and we get to pick the rest.
Lessons about mental health:
Boundaries are your best friend. Identify, establish, and enforce them.
Normalize therapy. Bettering/caring for yourself shouldn’t be taboo.
It’s okay to not be okay.
Emotions aren’t mutually exclusive — embrace the spectrum.
Oversharing is not vulnerability. Start Brené Brown’s The Power of Vulnerability to learn more. It’s a game-changer.
Lessons about work:
As in life, work is what you make of it. You’re not there to make friends, but you’re bound to find at least one that makes it easier. Keep them close.
Work hard (and smart) to continually expand and nurture your sphere of influence, and make your career development goals known to your higher-ups.
You won’t have all the answers. Saying, “I don’t know”, and circling back when you do is not only okay, it’s respectable.
Keep your emails and calls as succinct as possible. Don’t fret much over tone, wanting to sound nice, etc. Simple. Short. Sweet.
Absolutely ask for help or clarification if something isn’t clear. But, for the love of all things, Google it first.