10 Lessons I’ve Learned Living with My Partner

Last August, I wrote a blog on Avec David chronicling the ten things to consider before moving in with a significant other. I laugh now, reading, “Having a month-and-a-half under our belt…” We were so new to cohabitating. (And compared to some of you, we still are.) Three years ago, I moved to Seattle — into an apartment where I lived on my own for the first time in my 26.75 years of existence.

Two years and a few months later, I traded in my electronic key fob (and solitude) for a life with someone by my side. And HOA dues. Above all else, the biggest lesson I’ve learned, in living with my partner, is the value of patience. (Which also happened to be the theme of my twenties, too.) Moving into a shared space, combining furniture, merging styles, and splitting a closet (and bathroom) takes a great deal of patience.

Over the past year, Billy and I have both grown emotionally, as have our skills in patience, listening, understanding, and communicating with one another. As you’d expect, it hasn’t been without moments of conflict or hurt feelings, but we’ve managed to forge a closer bond over the past year, despite any of the bumps in the road. I, for one, can’t wait to see the lessons the next year brings.

10 Lessons I Learned Living with My Partner

Here are the top 10 things we've learned, after nearly a year of living together (which, as a reminder, is the equivalent of nearly three, in gay years.)

1. Pick your battles

Learn what can be let go, and what can't.

2. Over-communicate

Esp. in the beginning, talk about it all.

3. Create a shared calendar

Give them visibility to your schedule and plans.

4. Get past always eating together

Cravings hit differently — and rarely align.

5. ‘Making it ours’ takes time

Combining styles doesn't happen overnight.

6. Set expectations (and check in often)

Even the mundane — Who's on trash duty or dishes?

7. Carve out or schedule ‘me-time’

Don't be on top of each other 24/7.

8. Don’t assume they’re a mind reader (because they’re not)

Speak your mind (constructively, please!)

9. Show them appreciation (and affection)

Bonus points if it's in their love language.

10. Find ways to keep the spark alive

No matter what, make dating a priority.